Photophobia is the name of the light sensitivity condition I have. This big word is to describe the huge discomfort I feel in bright light. It is defiantly not a fear from light, but light can be very challenging on a daily basis.
My (very dark and red’ish) sunglasses are always at my side. I can NOT go outside without them, even if it is cloudy, rainy or right after sunset. I wear them also indoors when the room is bright or if I look outside the window. However, I prefer a sunny day because it makes me feel happy, even that I have to make more effort to get by. All the outdoor activities are just more tiring...
In the past I was insecure in regards to my blinking and my poor day site, for example when I encountered new people who didn’t know my background and assumed I was tired or that something was wrong with me, or at management meetings at work where I didn’t want them to feel that I don’t respect them while I was wearing my glasses in the office.
Now, even though I accept who I am and try not to care about what people think about me, I still sometimes feel uncomfortable walking in a bright room full of people without my sunglasses.
With my glasses on, at a dark room or at night time, you would never know that something is wrong with my vision, unless you call me from a distance and then I can’t locate you, or if you give me the menu to read and most of the time it is too small for me.
I feel lucky for looking like I have no problem, just because it means that my vision is not THAT bad – it is all about proportion in life…
This painting is a negative of the other painting I did. I wanted to show the glare I feel from light. It was much more difficult for me to paint this one rather than the original, because when I look at bright colors I don’t see all their shades.
It took me a long time to blend the way I wanted also because I had to wait for the whites to dry until I could apply another layer. I enjoyed it though because it was a challenge.